*** Of This And That
In The Old 1960s North Adamsville Neighborhood-Those Pale Blue Eyes,
Revisited
A YouTube film clip to set the mood for this sketch.
From The Pen Of Frank Jackman
Not all
adventures in social networking lead to good results and happy endings,
although don’t blame the Internet or the fact of the Internet as a
communication tool for bringing people together on that. People, men and women
in serious and unserious relationships, have been screwing them up without that
technological help ever since Adam and Eve, maybe before, so back off. I have a
story to tell about how the Internet brought two fellow classmates from the
North Adamsville Class of 1964, Sam Lowell and Melinda Loring, together, how
they started out a relationship sparked by the Internet but were able to mess
things up as if that instrumentality never existed. Needless to say the pair
are no longer together after a short stormy affair, although they both have
admitted to me individually that they still believed that it was written in the
stars that they belonged together. But that good hope sentiment sometimes
doesn’t mean a thing if the couple can’t abide each other’s presence, couldn’t
seem to connect the dots. Such situations happen more than one might think so
let’s look at how things unfolded and how I got wind of what went down.
Despite the
sad story of Sam and Melinda I have spent not a little time lately touting the
virtues of the Internet in allowing me and the members of the North Adamsville
Class of 1964, or what is left of it, the remnant that has survived and is
findable with the new technologies (some will never be found by choice or by
being excluded from the “information super-highway” that they have not been
able to navigate), to communicate with each other some fifty years and many
miles later on a class website recently set up to gather in classmates for our
50th anniversary reunion. I had noted in earlier sketches my own
successes with this website in being able to tout a guy whose photos of my old
childhood neighborhood send me spinning down memory lane, another about an old
corner boy and our Adventure car hop misadventures looking for the heart of
Saturday night, writing a tribute to our classmates fallen in Vietnam, and in answering
a perplexing question about what I saw as my role as a commentator on the site.
I admit I had to marvel at some of the communications technology that makes our
work a lot easier than back in the day. The Internet was only maybe a dream, a
mad monk scientist far-fetched science fiction dream then as we struggle with
three by five cards and archaic Dewey Decimal systems.
I also admitted
in one of those sketches that for most of these fifty years since graduation I
had studiously avoided returning to the old town for any past class reunions
but this one I had wanted to attend, the reasons which not need detain us here.
Or I should say rather wanted to attend once the reunion committee was able to
track me down and invite me to attend. Or a better “rather” to join a NA64.com
website run by a wizard webmaster, Donna, who was also our class Vice-President
to keep up to date on progress for that reunion.
Part of the
reason I did join the class site was to keep informed about upcoming events but
also as is my wont to make commentary about various aspects of the old hometown,
the high school then, and any other tidbit that my esteemed fellow classmates
might want to ponder after all these years. All this made simple as pie by the
act of joining. Once logged in one is provided with a personal profile page
complete with space for private e-mails, story-telling, various vital
statistics like kids and grandkids, and space for the billion photos of that progeny,
mostly it seems for those darling grandkids that seem to pop up everywhere. Additionally, there is a section, a general
comment section, the “Message Forum” page, where one and all can place material
they think of general interest to the class as a whole. I have used that page
more than once over the past several months.
A while back,
a few months ago now, I went on to the class website to check out a new
addition to the list of those who had joined the site recently. We can use our
personal settings to be informed of that kind of information on a more or less frequent
basis. The guy who had just joined was a guy I did not know but I had seen
around the school and so I was ready to click off the site (by the way you would have seen almost everybody in the
four years you were there with one thing or another even though the class had
baby-boomer times over 500 students). Then I noticed that Sam Lowell had placed a comment in the “Message Forum”
section about Melinda Loring and how she had recently as a result of slipping
in an indoor swimming pool up in Epping, New Hampshire, while exercising had broken her right hip
requiring surgery. We were asked to send Melinda best wishes message for a
speedy recovery on her profile page.
Now I knew
Sam Lowell from high school, had been a teammate of his on the indoor and
outdoor track teams, and had hung around with him most of junior and senior
years. I had, when Sam joined the website in November of 2013 shortly I had, sent
him some private e-mails and we had maintained an exchange of messages about
the old days and about what had been happening since then. I had not heard from
him or seen anything listed about him for a few months before his Melinda
announcement. I do not remember him knowing Melinda Loring back in school
although we both knew who she was. I remember that we had both commented at one
time back then that she was a definite “fox”
in the language of the hormonal schoolboy 1960s night but “unapproachable” to ragamuffin boys like
us. Sam had not mentioned being in touch with her on the site in any of our
communications, and I knew that he lived in Holden here in Massachusetts and
that Melinda listed her home town as up near the White Mountains in New Hampshire.
Most importantly I knew that Sam had been married to the same woman, Laura, for
about thirty-five years. So I sent him a private e-mail message asking “what
gives with Melinda?” and how he came to be the guy who placed a notice about
her condition on the “Message Forum” page. In return he asked for my Internet
e-mail because he wanted to explain some things without going on the site. I
knew something was up.
I also got
more, much more, than I bargained for so hear me out. It seems that Sam was
really gung-ho about going to and being a part of this 50th
anniversary class reunion. He had gone to many of previous ones at 5, 10, 25,
and 40 years but last fall he had not heard anything about planning for a 50th
reunion so he, like many of our generation who are the least bit Internet savvy
these days, created an event page on Facebook
looking for interested classmates and asking whether any plans were afoot.
Melinda subsequently sent him a message on that event page asking what he knew
of the doings. Sam sent her back a message about what little he knew and that
he was prepared to organize something if nothing was in the works but forgot to
give his name. She replied “who are you?” And that was their start. They
exchanged a blizzard (Sam’s word) of e-mails over the next several day telling
each other about what they had been up to over the last 50 years. Melinda had
been a professor of education at various colleges, most recently at the
University of New Hampshire and was still plodding away at that profession. Sam
had been many things over the years, including teaching, but was at this time a
lawyer working mainly out of his house on appeals cases. During this time Sam, through
a separate source found out that there was already a class website in existence,
informed Melinda, and they both joined the site over the next few days.
Somehow this blizzard
of e-mails morphed into some insipid cyberspace kindred spirit torch-bearing. Something
was driving them forward. Eventually the e-mail system became too slow for
their eight million questions for each and their attraction to each other so
the ubiquitous cellphone became their mode of communication. Well the long and
short of it was that after a blizzard of calls they arranged to meet for dinner
in Lowell and discuss things. Melinda, twice married but now single and
available asked Sam about his marital status during their exchanges. Sam kind
of, no, he definitely fudged on that saying he was “separated” from Laura in
order to see what way the winds were blowing with Melinda. Melinda accepted
that explanation at face value, then. They met. They met and some spark was lit
right from the first, hands touching and smiles glowing immediately. Maybe it
was that they had gone to the same high school together, maybe it was the same
tough growing up poor and hungry profiles which they exchanged, maybe it was
the six million things they had in common like an interest Russian literature
and history, maybe it was their connection in the education field, and maybe
knowing Sam it was Melinda’s pale blue eyes but a spark was lit. They agreed
that after fifty years of “missing” each other they had to play the thing out.
And so they
did meeting for dinner many times, going to Washington together for a few days,
and fatally winding up at Melinda’s house in New Hampshire one night, one cold
night, one night when the wine flowed and, well, you can figure it out. But for
Sam, almost from the start there was always that nagging lie about his relationship
with Laura (and also the need to lie to her about his whereabouts on many occasions
whenhe was with Melinda) which as time went on he began to kind of half tell
Melinda about.
Needless to
say Melinda, a woman according to Sam, who was serially monogamous and sought
exclusive possession of her men became furious about Sam’s real relationship
with Laura. As Sam gave more details to Melinda while both developed strong
feeling of affection for each other Melinda more and more pressed the issue of
Sam’s fully leaving Laura. He would hedge, saying he needed more time. Then
Melinda’s pool accident and subsequent surgery occurred and hence the notice
provided by him on the site.
That is where I entered the
picture and contacted Sam. But as I learned from Sam later as thing unwound this
recovery time was also a time when Sam, who would go up to New Hampshire frequently
(telling Laura he was helping out an old classmate), to help Melinda out around
her house, take her to appointments and get her out of the home felt more like
a care-giver than a lover. He made what became the fatal mistake of telling
Melinda that change in feelings and she because furious despite her condition.
See Sam also told me he was getting cold feet about his future with Melinda who
was talking more and more about them living together. Shortly after Melinda had
recovered enough to be able to drive on her own they agreed to meet one night
for dinner in Newburyport and discuss where they were going. That night the
sparks flew, there were acrimonious arguments, and finally Sam walked out
furious at some of the things Melinda said. That was the last they saw of each
other in person although there were a few bitter e-mails and cellphone calls
before Melinda closed the curtain[CL1] [CL2]
down on the affair. So there is the story, the sad story and no happy ending.
I will finish up this tale by posting the
e-mail that I sent Melinda after Sam posted his message about her condition
(and after he had told me the details of their relationship but before I
learned of their split). See, after seeing her class yearbook photograph,
seeing some photos of her taken recently, hearing Sam’s story of their affair,
I decided that maybe I should make myself known, known as an old-time admirer.
And as a guy with no strings attached. Here goes:
“Melinda –I hope that
this note finds you convalescing quickly from your recent hip surgery. I also
hope that your cats, Mickie, Ell, Queenie, and Jinx that you have placed
pictures of on your profile page comfort to you at this time. I too am a cat-lover who has just lost a cat, Willie
Boy, who was my shadow around the house and is now buried in the back yard. I
will have his spirit watching out for you too.
I know several years
ago when I had my knee replacement and was laid up for weeks and house-bound I
appreciated getting notes and messages to see me through. I thought I would
tell you a little “secret” story from our high school days that might cheer you
up.
In the spring of our
junior year I had something of a “crush” on you. From a distance for sure since
I did not know you, did not have any classes with you, or anything like that
but had only seen you around the school in the corridors and such so I was not
sure how I would approach you. Moreover I was pretty shy then and kind of
bedraggled, a ragamuffin, so I was very hesitant to make my “move” since you
were such a college-bound looking girl with your cashmere sweaters and frilly
skirts.
As you might know if
you looked at my profile photos I was on the track team although you may not have
known there was even such a team at school. In the pring of 1963 after school
in the boys’ locker room I heard a couple of guys from the team mention your
name and how “hot” you were (not that word then I don’t think but you know what
I mean). I used that opening as a way to get some “grapevine” intelligence
about whether you had a boyfriend or something. So I asked them. Both their
replies were basically “forget it, she is unapproachable.” Naturally given
everything I just said I backed off and moved on to the next possibility as
young guys did then (maybe now too). I wonder now seeing your photos what would
have happened had I been braver then. I hope you like the story and it makes
you feel better.
BTW when I read your
comment on Dave Meagher’s “In Memory” page I noticed that you had gone to the
junior prom with him. [Dave had fallen in Vietnam in 1968, one of two such
classmates.] Who did you go to the senior prom with? Some college guy?
I also noticed that you have a photo on your
profile page with roses (probably for Valentine’s Day) in your arms looking
very nice. I suppose you have a special guy to help take care of you up there
in New Hampshire. Now don’t take this the wrong way, I am not trying to “hit”
on you but I could come up sometime while you are house-bound and we could talk
about the old times. I hope you do not think I am too forward. Later Frank
Jackman "
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