From The Pen Of Joshua
Lawrence Breslin- No Job For Amateurs –Lana Turner’s “Portrait In Black”
Click on the headline to link
to a Wikipedia entry for Lana Turner’s Portrait In Black.
DVD Review
Portrait In Black, starring
Lana Turner, Anthony Quinn, Sandra Dee, Universal Pictures, 1960
Let’s face it murder, and by
this I mean planned murder not some blood simple, spur of the moment, heat of
passion thing that could befall anybody, is not job for amateurs. More than a
few who have failed to observe this rule have faced the gallows for thinking
that they could cheap the hangman, or the odds. Of course that is the premise,
the odds against premise, of the film under review, the1960 thriller Portrait
In Black, in which the characters play with fire in disregard of that very
sound advice just provided, just provided for free.
More importantly love and
murder do not mix, do not mix at all. Also advice provided gratis courtesy of
viewing many noirs and thrillers. But as humans will do when the love bug gets
its nasty side hold on people there is no telling what will happen, or where it
will lead. And that is exactly what happens to our unlucky couple in this
thriller. They tempt the fates and those angry gods and goddesses in acts of
pure hubris smash them like bugs.
Let me provide a few details
just to prove my point, although if you too have seen enough noirs and
thrillers you already are in my chapel. One unhappy (but rich) San Francisco
wife (played by Lana Turner last seen by this reviewer serving them off the arm
down at Nick’s Dinner further down the coast and also plotting, amateur
plotting with a besotted highway tramp, John Garfield, to murder old Nick for
love and money in the film adaptation of James M. Cain’s The Postman Always
Rings Twice) of one very sick and ruthless man wants to move on, move on with
her husband’s doctor (played by Anthony Quinn).
Naturally the lovers want to
be happy and happiness cannot wait upon the timely demise of the husband. The
husband is therefore a very long gone daddy after a little work by the good
doctor. Perfect crime. No somebody is onto their caper. And that someone is
also a goner. All done, right. No, no once this thing gets going it snowballs
out of control. See, the husband’s daughter (played by Sandra Dee) by his first
wife tumbled onto the lovers who thought they had everything under control. So,
naturally, naturally now that the blood lust is up, she has to go. Almost. But
the main mantra of any thriller or any noir is that crime does not pay. And
that is the case here. And you wonder why I say murder is no job for amateurs.
Got it.
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