Funny, he, call him old man of the sea, although
that appellation has been done to death in about sixteen different ways not all
of them apt as that fits as good as any, thought as he watched out over another
endlessly enchanted seascape, this time god-brokered, maybe god-forsaken furious winds driving white-capped waves thundering to ill-prepared but eagerly waiting
to be taken like some overripe maiden beaches already filled with flotsam and
jetsam, nature’s jimson, from a million
previous rages, nature rages now co-mingled with his own benighted rages, how
much of his life had revolved around the sea, around trying to get a handles on
the sea, trying to see, well, hell at this late date where he fit in, no, where
he stood, okay. And then he thought this…
Maybe it was the sheer, hard fact, hard to
get around fact anyway, of the transcontinental California night calling after
too long an absence, the California be-bop, be-bop, be-bop, praise saint
be-bop, our lord and king, late 1960s
night, summer of love night and its aftermath when all things were possible and
when old Wordsworth had it right, had it poem right, to be young was very
heaven, the eternal California be-bop night after years of Maine solitude, of
Maine grey-blue-white washed, white-crested, white-capped, foam-flecked
Atlantic ocean-flotsam and jetsam strewn waters. After all not all oceans are
created the same, just look at the fury-driven ocean in front of him, no friend
to man, to beast, or to god, not all oceans speak to one in the same way, speak
that siren song whisper, speak hushed tones that no man (and here man means man
or woman, okay) dare speak above, nature’s arbitrary law, although they are all
old Father (or is it Brother now) Neptune’s thoughtful playgrounds. (Thoughtful
for ten thousand thoughtful walks, ten thousand un-thoughtful walks, and eight
thousand more or less, indifferent walks, twenty-eight thousand, more or less,
chances anyway. California’s, yes, white-washed, yes, white-crested, yes, white-capped, yes, foam-flecked speak to gentle, warm lapis lazuli blue wealth dreams of the quest, the long buried life long quest for the great blue-pink great American West night, blue-pinked skies of course. Yes maybe it was just that sheer hard fact, hard to get around still, that pushed him, old man of the sea him, out of Eastern white, white to hate the sight of white, snowed-indoors, Eastern gale winds blowing a man against the sand-pebbled seas, and into the endless starless, better, sunless night. Yes, maybe just a change of color, or to color, from the white white whiteness of the sea stretched ,white-etched night. Right down to the shoreline white where the waves devoured night and left their mark, their graffiti mark.
Maybe too it was the sheer, hard fact, he would no longer speak of hard to get facts around since that was enameled into his psyche now, of preparing, against the timetable of that Eastern white night, timetable set and etched by that shoreline outline and that fugitive lover who ravished her shoreline sands and then fled, this and that for the winter California day, and night, the ocean California that set the thoughts of the be-bop night (hell, more than be-bop, be-bop to the nth power suddenly came brain-storming in waves like that turbulent sea over him not seen or heard from since those first summer of love days), and the quest for the blue-pink skies humming once again in the, admittedly, older-boned voyager, voyeur (some snicker dirty old man and save such words as voyeur for the professionals) of dreamed once sultry, steamy nights.
And vivid memories of golden Butterfly Swirl and her sex, her seventeen different little tricks, learned, learned from who knows where, maybe mother ocean but certainly not her former seeking the perfect wave boyfriend- where would that fit into his timetable? Such thoughts, such return thoughts a different proposition, a different proposition altogether, on most days, from preparing to face fierce Maine winter mornings, unaided by the graces, speak freely of the graces please, and forms nature provides its hardier creations. No thoughts today of heavy woolen coats, double-stitched, double-plied, doubled-vested, old nor’ easter worthy, or heavy woolen pants, same chino pants of youth, same black chino pants, no cuffs, except winter weight, not the always summer weight of no knowledge youth (inside sad joke), or heavy boots, heavy clunky rubbery boots mocking against the snow-felt, ocean-edged soft sand streets, or maybe, more in tune with aged-bone recipes heavy-soled, heavy-rubber soled (or was it rubber souled?) running shoes (also known in the wide world of youth as sneakers, better Chuck’s). Of scarves, and caps, full-bodied caps, better seaman’s caps, heavy, wool, dark blue, built to stand against the ocean-stormed waves crashing and thrashing against ships hulls, and gloves, gloves to keep your hands from frosty immobility I need not speak. Or will not speak. Of this I will speak…
A picture of Jimmy Leclerc, remember that name like you remember the seas, like you remember certain tales, like you remember, well, like you remember as best you can , that which somebody told you about but which you did not experience (although Jimmy experiences fill my soul, fill my sea-watching soul even today). Blessed, sainted, sanctified, cradled, born under a certain star, lucky maybe if you believe in making your own luck or having it thrust upon you ,Jimmy, young, maybe four or five, no, five, definitely five, school ready, school ready come fall, mucking around the summertime shoreline mucks, low tide, shoreline white- etched ravishes well up the beach, fetid smells from seven kinds of tanker-passing oil slicks, rancid chemicals from the cross-bay industrial plant, human mucks mixed in from ten thousand , ten thousand (thanks, Sam Coleridge) sources seeping back to shore and mephitic (thanks, Norman Mailer) seeps as well from the close by marshes that guard the approached to the sea. Jimmy, a tow-headed, tow-headed kid, five, portending Adonis and ladies, maybe some Butterfly Swirl and her seventeen little tricks when he gets old enough to know of such tricks, know of teaching such tricks just in case he lands a neophyte, knowing from some savior older brother himself sent to sea at fourteen, or some other worthy sea-mate, that day, that picture day, walking toward the ever-present amateur clam diggers(or maybe professional but it is hard to see how they, or anyone could make a living out of oil slicked, fetid, human mucked clams),high rubber boots, high almost to the crotch (although Jimmy would not have pointed that hard fact out), buckets, small buckets, portending small payloads, sea-rakes, sea-shovels, sea-backs and working against time before the relentless seas come back to cover their own.
And just that day, that low tide and mucks days, he
learned a valuable lesson from those vagrant gypsy clam-diggers (literally
gypsies, Roma, if you prefer, but just plain ordinary gypsies then, and called
so, mostly seen with travelling carnivals and on city sidewalks selling cheap
roses for the lady, and maybe their daughters too, selling that is, for they
used the clams in some special olio broth magic that kept their race alive in
hard times) about only believing half (or less, but that was another lesson
another time).He had heard, heard from some older boys who lived up the street
(the name of the street not important, not important to the lesson, but maybe,
naming will act as an omen, name Taffrail Road evoking long ago wooden ships
and sea-farers worthy of the name, sea-ward cousins of that day’s gypsies) and
who were interested in girls, as girls, as opposed to boys, and not like Jimmy,
Jimmy even then as foils for his child-like schemes, not all evil, not at all,
but not in entangling, intertwining way like they spoke of. He asked one of the
gypsy diggers if he had seen any submarines around while he was digging. The digger
spoken to called to his gyspy partner repeating Jimmy’s question and they both
let out with a low groan laugh, then a more hearty one. The first man laughed
some more and then said to Jimmy that while there were not many around anymore
since the war (World War II for those who are keeping counts on wars, or just
trying to keep them straight) since the bloody Germans has been defeated and
good riddance (reflecting the decimation of his kindred in Europe who took a
serious beating from the bloody bastard Nazis) but he said on certain moonless
nights you could see objects that certainly looked like submarines so be
watchful, and be careful. So for a couple of months thereafter whenever the
moon was low or it was cloudy Jimmy looked out fiercely at the open sea and
then after a while went on to other things.
A moonless June night, circa 1961 Jimmy Leclerc is
sitting in his brother borrowed 1957
two-toned Chevy (I know, I know said brother should be shot, or worst ,for
letting anybody, even a brother, even a brother who spent the whole afternoon
turtle-waxing the damn thing borrow his chariot) down at the far end of Seal
Rock (name also not important except that Seal Rock says beach, says mystery
and says, far end says, that this is the local lovers’ lane for the
free-spirits who don’t mind the crowds of cars that dot this place on moonless
June nights (and other times too) or
mind being seen in a spot that means only one thing, that you will be
anywhere from point one to point thirty
Monday morning in Olde Saco High school before school “lav” talk, boys’ or
girls’ lav accordingly. And this week coming Jimmy and Lorraine, Lorraine
Dubois, will receive a number because Jimmy, who long since has learned to
believe in making his own luck, has talked his ball and chain sweetie Lorraine
into searching for submarines. And searching for them very closely, as it
turned out in the back seat of that cherry ’57 Chevy. 
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